Writing tip: Make sure you write what you mean

Here’s something that bugs me: sentences constructed as “this needs to happen.”

For example, on a news report about the lack of mental health care workers in Nunavut, the journalist said “more nurses need to be hired in Nunavut.” That’s obviously false.

Maybe nurses do need to be hired. Professionals need jobs. But that’s not the point the journalist wanted to make.

This is what I call a “false active” sentence. What the writer was trying to say was “The territory needs to hire more nurses.” Grammatically, it is in active voice—the subject of the sentence performs the verb. However, the idea that the writer wants to express is that the object of the sentence needs the subject: “Nunavut needs to hire more nurses.”

In other words, the sentence is structured in reverse of the intended meaning.

How to avoid the false active

To avoid this, you have to plan your writing a little bit. Answer a simple question: what are you trying to say?

State your main idea in one clear sentence. This will allow you to express all your ideas clearly to your audience. If you cannot express your point in one sentence, you have not made it clear in your own mind. And if not, you cannot hope to make your ideas clear to your audience.

Then, apply that to the entire written piece, whether it’s a news article or a novel or anything in between. Make sure that every sentence, every paragraph and every chapter is actually expressing what you wanted to say.

It all goes back to the writing process that I outlined earlier: get a GRIP. It’s a four-step process that will help you write more clearly.

  1. Goal—why are you writing? What are you trying to achieve, and what do you want your audience to do?
  2. Reader—who are they? What do they need, want, like? Why should they read your writing? What’s in it for them?
  3. Idea—the thesis statement. What you’re trying to say, in one clear sentence.
  4. Plan—the outline. You need this. While some people say that they “write by the seat of their pants,” when it comes to business communications, you have to put your ideas into order. Otherwise, you risk confusing your reader—or worse, boring them so they don’t read what you’ve spent all that time writing.

Admittedly, most audiences can interpret the real meaning. But we’re not always dealing with native English speakers. So let’s be clear, and let’s make sure we are actually writing what we mean.

10 Comments


  1. This is sometimes a problem of mine – I know what I want to say, but my sentence structure screws me up. I learned, and accepted, a long time ago that I will always employ an editor to help make my ideas clear so I don’t make these pitfalls when I’m putting work out into the field. Great reminder post.


  2. Excellent post, Scott. Breaking a paragraph down to one tight sentence sure is hard sometimes.


  3. Are you sure you’re not a lawyer? Twisting words is their greatest ability. A very good point. Thx for sharing.


  4. This is such a great reminder of a bad habit we all can fall into. Another reason why I love my editor!


  5. Perhaps the writers (like myself) who do stream of consciousness writing, should stop once every fifteen minutes and think about these points. If not, we have a lot of re-writing to do. I hate narratives that preach at me and prefer them to bring me to their point of view with logic. Very good points, thanks.


  6. Great tips! Always important to make sure you know what you are doing before you being writing anything!


  7. I don’t even like the active voice version. I don’t prefer saying “needs to” about very many things. I would even go so far as to say “If the region wants better health care, more nurses must be hired.” Or “Most nurses must be hired to insure better healthcare.” Something along those lines. .. But you’re right “Needs to hire” is much better than “need to be hired.”!!! This was always pointed out to me as passive voice… anytime you add the verb “to be” — but tomato, tomahto (I’m apparently fond of saying that today)… I agree! 🙂


  8. Another good writing tip, Scott. That sneaky passive voice doesn’t give up easily, does it?

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